My Old Man Is Base Ball Mad

My Old Man Is Base Ball Mad

V1
While most people welcome the summer I fear
I must say I’m sorry that summer is here,
With me it’s a case of and needles and pins,
When summer comes ‘round my trouble begins,
For as soon as the season of ball games commence,
That husband of mine loses all common sense,
IT’s baseball at night, and it’s baseball all day,
It’s bingles (or hingles??) and singles and crack double plays

V2
Imagine this morning the hour of three,
That old man of mine coming home from a spree,
He aimed at the baby fired a cup,
Said catch that you lobster I’ve got to warm up,
The pitcher was next which he threw in my face,
Cried hit by the pitcher hooray take your base!
Then up to the attic he flew like a bird,
Yelled madly don’t stop me I’ve got to steal third.

V3
Why even in telling our son how to court,
In the language of baseball he has to resort,
He said my boy find out if you she deserves,
Get her batting average and study her curves,
Then point out the sacrifice if she agrees,
On a double header then both work the squeeze,
If errorless support she is craving, then say,
Just show her your checks for the next rainy day

C.
My old man is baseball mad you can see it in his face,
At night in bed, he jumps upon my head shouting safe on second base
Then he slides to the left and he slides to the right and just as I’m beginning to fall asleep he digs me in the ribs
Crying “All stretch seventh inning.”

Edward Clark

1910